What I Want to Wear

What I Want to Wear 

Hi, Hello, Welcome Back. 

It has been years since I used this Blogger account, but I miss this era of sewing. Of making. Of writing about it, so I'm back again, still obsessed with clothes and textiles, and with the ability to make I only dreamed of when I started this blog.

First, I want to talk about how I've clarified what I want to wear, and in my next post I am going to get into what I want to make, then I am going to get into what I want to pursue for projects. For this post, I want to get into how my thinking about self-expression and wardrobe have changed, some of the systems I've tried, and what's working for me now. 

I love the pieces I made in this photo! Hat, vest and backpack!

Breaking it Down 

I am not someone who is naturally visual- I cannot hold images in my brain, and imagining what something might look like before it exists is not in my wheel house. This project started from a place of dissatisfaction, I did not like what I was wearing, and in order to address that, I first had to figure out what I was even dissatisfied with. I needed a system that was descriptive instead of pictoral, that would help me break down my thinking so I can codify visuals for my linguistic brain.

Through time, I have come to break down the elements of my system into the following main categories - silhouette, colour and vibe. These are not mutually exclusive categories, they are like a tripartite yin yang symbol - they oppose and contain one another. Colour and silhouette intrinsically inform vibe, but I still find there is a je ne sais quoi in vibe that I needed to understand what I was trying to create. It is the last gatekeeper on an item or an outfit, a vibe check if you would, one last opportunity to sit intentionally and ask; does this feel like me? 

Silhouette 

Coming to terms with silhouette first meant the long and important journey of coming to terms with the 3D shape of my physical body. It has ranged from neutral acceptance to grateful reverence, a relationship with seasons and the dynamism of a living river. A core thing that I have been able to hold with tenderness and honesty, is that I will never be a small white woman. As much as the social machine will try to sell me this lie six ways to Sunday, it will just never be who or what I am. I found this fact depressing as a young person, and freeing as an older person, because if I am not going to be that, actually there is now so much so much space for who and what I can be. 

The main way I use to think about silhouette comes form Ellie Jean Royden's body matrix system. In her system I am a tall, medium-wide, curve. The point of the system is not to have "rules" but to cue you to options that actually honour your anatomy. For example, if you have wide shoulders, she actually encourages you to follow that architecture and wear width across your torso, instead of previous fatphobic advice we have all see that informs you to wear something narrow to look smaller. I find her system is not poorly veiled advice on how to pursue thinness, and I appreciate that greatly. 

Through this lens, I have realized I actually gravitate to some core silhouettes:

 

• Fitted tops; usually knits, and specifically rib knits 
• Bottoms with volume that are fitted at the waist ; usually straight or barrel legs, but I appreciate a wide-leg pant as well
• Relaxed dresses 
• Layers with volume; like haori, robes, and jackets in fabrics that range from double gauze to quilted

Here are some stills of an outfit I made that I really like! The haori is double gauze, the pants are a slubby tencel blend, and the bag is quilted. 

The body matrix system really invited me to consider how I want to use volume. With a thincentric lens, volume is always an enemy that makes you look bigger, but when I divested from that framing, all of the sudden I could use volume to communicate anything from ease to theatricality, fluidity to structure. In working with volume, I have accessed a completely new vocabulary for telling my own story.

The silhouettes I gravitate towards are unstructured, with softness and volume. They have ease, but often are fitted around my torso and waist, but not always. Sometimes I want to layer volume on volume, but they don't fight with the ebbs and flows of my anatomy.

Colour 

I think we have all contemplated what season we are. And though that particular exercise wasn't specifically useful for me, it did create framing that I do find useful to this day. It asked me to consider the following: 

• Hue (warm vs cool)
• Saturation/tint (bright vs pastel) 
• Value (light vs dark) 

Through the prism of these filters, I have realized the following, I prefer: 

• Warm colours 
• Saturated colours 
• Medium value colours 

I have then added in the Creative Pragmatists (attached is a great post on the idea that colour is a language) ideas about colour rings and landed here.

In Ring 1, we have black. Done. 

In Ring 2, we have other neutrals that are classic standbys, navy, olive, espresso (also light blue for light coloured denim should be here) 

In Ring 3, we have these sort of in-betweeners, they aren't pops and they are true neutrals. 

In Ring 4, we have our loud pops, red-orange, cranberry, kelly green and petal pink (I would also add chartreuse in here for me - fuck I love that colour) 

Not all of these perfectly match the preferences I laid out above, but they helped give me principles for how I navigate the infinite realm of colour. 

Vibe 

I use vibe as a catch-all for everything else. It houses things like texture, pattern and reference. I have also used work by EJR to inform my thinking here, I really like her Style Roots system, it takes the Creative Pragmatists 3 words system and adds a witchy esoteric take I resonate with.

For me I have settled into an Mushroom - Stone - Earth as likely the combo that best represents me. Honestly, EJR's pinterest is so incredible useful, I have it bookmarked, specifically this Style Roots board.

This framing has helped me understand that what I really look for in vibe includes ease, simplicity, texture, and limited prints. I like textiles that have presence through their fibre and weave, like double gauze, silk noil, and quilts. If I am going to wear a print, it's going to be organic at an interesting scale (very small or very large). I do not fuck with checks or stripes. Rectilinear is not my vibe. That for me it this mix of very Japanese ideas of form from my grandma, this splash of Ivy I get from my dad, and a bit of funk that's really just my own. 

Together

Pulling it all together has not given me specific rules I operate within, instead it has given me a system of guideposts that help me strategically ask, does this feel like me? Does it say what I want it to say about me? Does it feel how I want it to feel on me? And for the first time, maybe ever, I feel I have clarity on what I am building this year. On what clothes I want to buy, make and repair, and why those clothes. I am really excited for what I am working on this year as a result and I can't wait to show you!